House's Son
by RemyTheReaper
Summary: House meets his long lost son after the boy's mother dies. How will he react to Fatherhood? What will happen when the boy takes a liking to Thirteen? Believe me, NOT what you expect... T to be safe


**A/N: Hi peeps. So I've noticed a trend in a lot of House stories, House having a long lost daughter who turns him good and happy. Right. Here's my response to that…**

It was an entirely normal day in Princeton Plainsboro Teaching Hospital. House stood in front of his ducklings (and Foreman) writing on the whiteboard.

"House I'm telling you, I'm not sick! I passed out because Kutner shocked me with the stupid defibrillator paddles!" Thirteen insisted, glaring at Kutner.

"So, differential on a perfectly healthy 21-"

"I'm 26"

"-year old female who suddenly has a heart attack" Taub, Kutner, and Foreman all thought for a moment,

"We'd need to run some tests, get a history, draw some blood" Kutner said finally. House nodded,

"You and Taub, start testing, Foreman get a patient history." The three men started towards the door, but Thirteen stood in their way.

"Stop! I'm supposed to be the patient, but-"

"Well what are you doing out of your room?" House asked her seriously.

"There's nothing wrong with me!"

"You had a heart attack! Get back to your room so we can figure out whats wrong with you." Thirteen shook her head in defeat and walked out of the room with the three men following her. House smiled, dropping his marker and making his way towards his own office. Now he could watch General Hospital in peace. As soon as he thought that though the door to the room opened,

"Dr. House?" House sighed,

"No sorry, she umm had a heart attack. Room 324, she's a bit delusional though, might tell you her name is Dr. Hadley." House continued towards his office, but stopped at the voice's next words,

"I'm pretty sure the doctor who got me pregnant 14 years ago wasn't a she" House turned around and found a woman standing in the doorway. Next to her stood a tall skinny boy. He was dressed entirely in black, matching his obviously dyed hair, which was styled in front of his face in a typical "emo" haircut.

"That's not my kid. And even if it was why would you be bringing him here now?"

"Because I'm dying" With that the woman fell over, dead. House stared at her for a second before turning to the boy.

"So… What's your name?"

"Vladimir." House nodded,

"Okay, well good luck with that." House went to go back into his office, and the boy followed. House sat down at his desk and was about to turn on his TV when he realized Vladimir was standing in the doorway staring at him.

"What? She's dead. Not much I can do for her now." Vladimir didn't say anything,

"I'm not your father you know" Vladimir continued to say nothing and House shrugged just as Foreman opened the door to his office.

"Get the patient history?" Foreman nodded, then looked suspiciously at Vladimir who was holding a pocketknife threateningly.

"Whose the kid?"

"Huh? Oh, that's Vladimir"  
"What's he doing?" House shrugged,

"Just…you know…looking suspicious in the doorway to my office. Now, back to the History" Foreman sighed,

"Turns out, the patient's mother died of Huntington's chorea when she was six. Kutner just got the results back from the lab and turns out, she's got it too. It probably didn't cause her heart attack, but she still needs to know" House nodded, grabbing his cane and standing up.

"Come on Vlad, lets go tell a patient she's dying" an evil smirk curled across Vladimir's lips as he followed House out of his office and down the hallway to room 324. Reaching the room, House opened the door and stood next to the bed where Thirteen sat, looking pissed off.

"Hi I'm Dr. House. We got your test results back-"

"House I know who you are. And let me guess, they showed that there's nothing wrong, because I'm FINE!!"

"Your mother died of Huntington's chorea when you were six…"

"House what's that kid doing?"

"I'm sorry, you inherited the Huntingtons gene" Thirteen sighed in frustration,

"You already knew that!! And what the hell is that kid doing!?" House turned around to find Vladimir writing on the wall using blood on his pocketknife.

"Oh, he's just writing on the wall with…Hey Vlad!" Vladimir stopped writing and turned to look at House,

"Whose blood is that?"

"The black guy's"

"Oh, right so he's just writing on the wall in Foreman's blood" Thirteen looked alarmed.

"So there's a phsyco murderer kid in my hospital room and you aren't going to do anything!?" House frowned,

"Hey, that might be my son your talking about!" Thirteen visibly paled, pulling her knees up to her chest and rocking back and forth,

"It's all a dream" she said over and over. House watched her for awhile, then got bored and decided to leave to get lunch. As he and Vladimir were walking down the hallway they were stopped by Cuddy.

"House! What did I tell you about leaving dead bodies lying around the hospital!" House thought for a moment.

"Nothing…" Cuddy nodded,

"I know. I never thought I would have to, but please if you're going to kill one of your fellows or if someone mysteriously falls over dead in the doorway to your office, call a nurse to come clean up." House nodded,

"I'll try to remember that. Come on Vlad…Vlad?" House turned around to find Vladimir standing outside the window to Thirteen's room, holding up his knife. House sighed,

"VLAD!" The boy turned around slowly, not lowering the knife. House waved for him to come over, which he did.

"Come on, the cafeteria is this way" Vladimir glared at Cuddy before following House to the cafeteria. They arrived at the same time as Wilson who looked suspiciously at House's newfound son.

"House. And who's this?" Wilson asked, watching Vladimir lick the blood from his knife.

"Oh, this is my son Vladimir. Or at least he might be my son. He's got my eyes" Wilson looked at Vladimir's eyes and frowned,

"They're red…" House shrugged,

"Red, blue, practically the same thing. Come on Vlad, get whatever you want, uncle Jimmy's paying." Wilson rolled his eyes as the three got in line. Like always House got a Rueben, hold the pickles. Vladimir didn't get anything, but was eyeing Dr. Wilson suspiciously. Wilson shifted uncomfortably under the boy's gaze.

"Not hungry Vladimir?" the oncologist asked.

"Only for blood" was the response.

"Oh, well then I guess pizza just won't suffice, huh?" Vladimir shook his head, staring sadly down at the clean knife in his hands. Wilson and House got their lunches and sat down at a table while Vladimir "went to the bathroom".

"He's definetly different…are you sure he's yours?" House shook his head,

"I haven't taken a paternity test, but I kind of like him." Wilson nodded, then looked at something over House's shoulder.

"He's not going to the bathroom" House turned around and saw that his son was infact leaving the cafeteria.

"Huh, he's probably going to visit Thirteen. I think he likes her." Wilson nodded,

"So, are you gonna, you know, keep him" House nodded,

"I think so, why? Afraid he'll take your spot at poker night Jimmy?" House stood up, taking his sandwich with him.

"He better not!" Wilson called after his friend, shaking his head with a sigh.

"Vlad! There you are" House said, bursting into Thirteen's room. Vladimir looked up at him with empty eyes. The young boy was sitting on the bed holding up his knife again while Thirteen was cowering in a corner of the room.

"I made a friend" Vladimir said darkly, smiling scarily at Thirteen who looked up at House, with wide frightened eyes that would have made Cameron attack her with a million rainbows,

"House! Get this freaky kid out of here! Call the cops on him or something! He killed Kutner and hid the body under the bed" House got down and looked under the bed where sure enough Kutner's body lay. House was beaming with pride,

"Good job Vlad, that'll stick it to Cuddy. Call a nurse to clean up dead bodies? Pfft!" Just then Cameron knocked on the door to the room and poked her head inside,

"House can I talk to you for a minute?" House nodded.  
"Come on Vlad"

"Can I stay with my new friend?" Vladimir asked, staring at Thirteen, who began hyperventilating.

"Sure, Thirteen watch the kid" House said, following Cameron out into the hallway.

"Wilson just told me that you have a long lost son!" House shook his head.

"Technically he's my recently found son… and he really likes Thirteen."  
"I can't believe you have a son! Who's the mother?" House shrugged,

"She's dead, it doesn't matter…why? Are you jealous? Still want me even though you're with the wombat?" Cameron blushed and shook her head,

"NO! Robert and I are very happy. We're expecting our own baby in 7 months so ha! I bet your jealous that he got me, aren't you?" House rolled his eyes,

"I bet you went off your birth control and purposely got yourself pregnant just so you could say that, didn't you" Cameron's face turned bright red,

"I hate you!" She turned and stomped away. House rolled his eyes and opened the door to Thirteen's room.

"Come on Vlad, we've got to go see Taub about some test results" House said, not bothering to look into the room where Vladimir was holding his knife to Thirteen's neck. Wordlessly Vladimir shoved the knife back into his pocket and followed House to the lab where Taub was sitting alone.

"Results!' House demanded.

"It's weird, everything seems fine. The heart attack seems to have just come out of the blue" House frowned,

"Test her blood again. Heart attacks don't just happen to healthy 19 year olds" Taub sighed,

"There isn't enough blood left! I'll have to go draw some more" He went to get up, but Vladimir walked over and pulled his knife out,

"I can help" he thrust the knife into Taub's chest and the older man fell backwards onto the floor, dead.

"Actually I think he meant the patient's blood. Now we'll just have to get it ourselves, come on." The two walked out of the lab and were walking down the hallway when suddenly a man dressed like a priest walked up to them.

"Thank goodness I've found you Vladimir! I didn't get to finish your exorcism" the man pulled a vial of Holy water out of his pocket and before Vladimir had time to run opened it and threw the contents at the boy. There was a loud shriek and Vladimir fell onto the ground, twitching a few times before lying still, an eerie blue smoke emitting from his mouth.

"Sorry about that. He always escapes, have a nice day!" The priest ran off again and House looked briefly at his son, lying on the floor. After a moment he shrugged and walked back to the differential room where Foreman, Taub, and Kutner were standing around looking confused.

"What just happened?" Foreman asked, rubbing his head.

"You were resurrected from the dead, now back to the patient…" Kutner frowned,

"Wait, where's Thirteen?"

* * *

"I'm NOT crazy!! He was trying to kill me! He killed Kutner! He's a murderer, he's insane!"

"It's okay Dr. Hadley, you're in a safe place now…" Thirteen rocked back and forth, trying to escape from the straightjacket.

"No! He's crazy! He'll get me!" The nurse sighed as Thirteen violently tried to acquire her freedom.

"Can we get a sedative please!"

"NO!!" Just then a large looking male nurse walked over, holding a syringe. He tilted Thirteen's head to the side and stabbed the needle into her neck. She blinked a few times, then fell back unconscious. The original nurse shook her head sadly,

"I guess working for House really does drive you insane"

**A/N: Poor Vladimir :( Please review lol and if you liked this, check out my new C2, Crackfic Central because I spent a REALLY long time collecting all the crackfics lol.**

**-Remy**


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